First and foremost, allow me to address the obvious: the headline of this article is admittedly an absurd, presumptuous question.
I’m going to LTB 2014 because I work at Ptex Group.
My company is the one hosting, coordinating, arranging, scheduling, promoting and otherwise laying out big bucks to make this event a reality. I consider this affiliation yet another feather in my moderately worn, sometimes sweaty, slightly weather-beaten corporate cap.
Plus it gives me some really cool bragging rights.
I’m already in the know of which distinguished keynote speakers will be dazzling us with their insightful gems of business brilliance (hint: one of them knows how to pilot an F-16 fighter jet). I can rattle off the six critical topics that will be highlighted during the eye-opening focus sessions (another clue: do the words “I ain’t got no time!” ring a bell?). And I know exactly what pastries they’ll be serving at the LTB 2014 buffet table.
Flaky dough babka; whipped caramel puffs; apple pie turnovers; and those sinfully delicious cream-filled cigars that inevitably squirt a glop of gooey custard on your freshly starched shirt right when you take that very first bite. But that’s not why you should be registering at LTB 2014.
In all seriousness, folks.
We’ve put together an all-star lineup of powerhouse lecturers and panelists that’ll be gathering together at one time, on one day, under one roof.
Take Gerry O’Brion.
Don’t let his hairstyle fool you; the man sold over $2 billion worth of Coors Lite beer. He spent countless hours in the Coors Brewery boardroom discussing, dueling, digressing and debating the merits of marketing with a bunch of brainy Harvard MBA graduates. In the process, he discovered ingenious strategies and spearheaded seemingly bizarre initiatives that helped the brewery sell millions of beer bottles – and create an untold amount of hangovers across the globe.
You’re guaranteed to leave his keynote presentation energized and ready to implement new marketing techniques in your business that’ll make a difference now and in the future. I’ll drink to that.
What about Rob “Waldo” Waldman?
He’s the square-jawed, highly decorated fighter pilot who flew a Lockheed-Martin F-16 jet above Iraq on nearly 65 dangerous combat missions. He applies the same principles that propelled him toward success in the competitive world of aerial combat to achieve success on the battleground of everyday business.
Prepare to be blown away by dramatic jet fighter footage, high energy music, audience interaction and an inspiring tale of perseverance. Be sure to check out Waldo’s authentic air force uniform and chest full of flight medals at the keynote session. It looks super snazzy on his website photos; it’ll look even more impressive in real life.
So what’s it gonna be people? You’re only a click away from making this a reality.
I hope to see you in attendance and greet you personally at LTB 2014. If you don’t see me sitting attentively at a keynote lecture or furiously scribbling notes at one of the many focus sessions, don’t get nervous – just take a quick stroll over to the buffet table.
It’s open all day and the bakery guy promised that he’ll be refilling it hourly with a colossal assortment of tempting goodies.
In fact, shoot me an email and I’ll even put aside an extra muffin for you… just in case you get “sidetracked” by the amazing agenda and can’t quite make it over to the buffet table. Remember to specify if you’d prefer a muffin topped with powdered sugar or glazed chocolate.
I’d personally go for the chocolate.
